Dear Universe,

Seeing as you may be taking requests, I thought I’d give you a holla. Now I rarely ask you for anything, and I’ve been working really hard in school trying to make you and my parents proud (although if you want to sprinkle some asteroid dust on me to get those readings out of the way, that would be cool). And I’ve been really nice to everyone around me, including feeding our apartment hobos (Hawk was making this awesome painting might I add). So I just have one itsy bitsy teeny weeny super tiny favor.

I know you’ve been surrounding me with chances to meet guys since I’m new to being single and all. And I know that you’re giving me a chance to learn about people even if I don’t understand what’s going on half the time. So it should come as no surprise that at the end of last semester when I finally tried to be a girl (instead of acting like one of the guys) you were kind enough to show me that I still can be charming (thank you). Unfortunately as adorable and sweet as this guy is, his phone etiquette is what we on planet earth call subpar. I know there are a lot of extraneous factors (which you control hint hint) that are in play, but next time could you send someone with better phone etiquette? Say one who actually calls when they say they will call, not before or after.

Much appreciation,
Angie

P.S. I’m sure Pluto has totally gotten over his demoted state, but tell him he’s got a fan here. The next cosmo is on me.