Which is especially true when you don’t actually know what you want. That would be me. (Or when what you want is illogical, say that cabin in Utah…)

Anyhow, I’ve been going dancing for fun recently with the friend with hips, and in the middle of the night he turns to me and says, “You know you don’t need me…” and so forth. At first I was taken aback, but when I thought about it, I realized how right he is. It’s not so much I don’t need you or my friends. It’s the idea that I don’t need to come up with excuses to myself or for anyone else. And I don’t need a crutch.

When it comes down to important things, every time I want to try something, I don’t always muster up the courage. Every time I’m with someone, I try to be overly accommodating. Every time I’ve accomplished something, I question my true ability. Every time I want to say something, I hold back. And I’m very guarded with my emotions.

Then I start thinking, this is so middle school and silly. Who cares what people think? (Okay easier said than done.) But seriously, screw excuses. The important thing is to embrace who you are and what you do love. Don’t ask for approval, don’t wonder what he said or she said. There are moments you have to act on your own and know that those closest to you will appreciate you for you. Truthfully, I still won’t be able to overcome certain embarrassments, but I know I am enjoying life a little bit more by taking risks (doesn’t matter how small or big they are). I’ve made it this far and at the risk of sounding hokey, have an incredible journey still ahead.

Mengfei, a wonderful friend, reminded me of New Soul by Yael Naim (the MacBook Air commercial song) so I leave you with lyrics. Click, and with that view, suddenly that cabin is more and more appealing.

I’m a new soul. I came to this strange world hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear, finding myself making every possible mistake.
I’m a young soul in this very strange world hoping I could learn a bit about what is true and fake.
But why all this hate? Try to communicate, finding trust and love is not always easy to make.