Since it’s Valentine’s Day/weekend, I thought it’d be fun to do my take on traditional gifts during this commercial, materialistic holiday.*  Or was that Christmas…

• He sent you roses. -5 points (dead and dried roses, 0 points)
• My bad, he actually had irises. +3
• They’re organic irises. +10
• Why are they in a box? -7
• You mean I have to assemble my own flowers and they’re being smushed? -5
• Oh wait, those are for the neighbor, he decided to hand deliver them himself (or by the florist) +8
• Umm, a box of Russell Stover’s… -10 (dumping the guy)
• He was just kidding around because there are those spiffy red Mickey Mouse lollipops instead! +3
• Aww, he included a card. +1
• But it seems to be some generic red frou-frou crap. -2
• Oh wait, it’s a well-selected, indie designer card that is tailored to me. +6

The moral of this post is that you should make sure to get her something she likes, and this doesn’t mean the dinner/ traditional gifts. I’m willing to bet she is happy with anything you do, as long as you put in the effort.  And if you don’t know what she likes, then buddy, you’re in for a problem.

Oddly enough, this Valentine’s I’m actually at home with the best date, my family. And one ulterior motive, my best guy friend who finds me beautiful no matter how I look. Which reminds me, for this weekend you can reinforce the fact that:

• I am an Amazon Goddess. You better recognize! +100

*I actually really love Valentine’s Day. Any day where people can show others they love them is great.