by Angie

When I was in elementary school, all I wanted was a Magic 8 Ball. The idea that a simple turn of this mysterious fortune-teller could tell me what to do or what someone felt was very exciting. So one Christmas to my delight, my parents got me the Magic 8 Ball. I spent the next few years consulting it for my little life’s problems and using it as a prop for my imaginative play.

Now I’m in my 20s and from nostalgia I downloaded the Magic iBall application. Sometimes I find myself, out of whim, consulting it about life’s questions. Will I get this? Does so and so truly like me? Needless to say I’m not always satisfied with its response, although I laugh when it is right. Either way, it lets me relive my childhood fancy.

I’ve been driving back and forth between Austin and Houston for family events, including my sister’s two graduations. For those of you who do not know, my sister is mildly mentally retarded and while not epileptic, does have seizures. She does not always know how to think about herself, because she isn’t “normal” like everyone else, yet her developmental disabilities are not as severe as others.

The first graduation was by the private school she attended for high school. It specializes in special education and has been wonderful for her development. The ceremony was small, and my sister spoke to the parents and teachers about her gratitude and aspirations, like attending the community college special education vocational program. I admit, as with all her ice-skating and music recitals, I tear up.

The second graduation was at the zoned public school. She wanted to attend this ceremony because it was what the “normal” teenager went through. My sister has sat through three of my graduations, all of which were large, extravagant events. We all understood the ceremonial rite of passage of hearing your name, walking across the stage and receiving a piece of paper. So my parents worked with the school and the school district to ensure her right to walk across that stage.

Thus, after 21 years my sister graduated from high school. I really never thought this day would arrive. The day she would finish school. The day she decided she must go to college. The day she would move out. No Magic 8 Ball could have told me this.

Her move has been a little difficult for me to grasp. I do not talk about it much because most people do not understand, and I am apprehensive about it. This is funny because I’ve always been the tough love person, knowing that she was able to do more than what she lets on. I’ve even scolded my parents on babying her on certain things. And while the trial run over spring break did go smoothly, it’s not home. However, it is a necessary step in her future.

There are many families with many stories of sons and daughters who are able to reach these accomplishments and make transitions successfully. I hope that they all share their story, freely or whenever asked. I believe that this support, sharing and understanding is what help other families with similar situations make it.

My sister’s graduation and move are just a small part of our story. My family has come a long way from bearing the burden alone and not knowing what to do, to creating a nonprofit organization and interacting with other parents happily. And my sister, well, she is making decisions. She has moved into a group home and will be continuing her education.

Of course, none of this has been easy. It takes over a decade of strength, perseverance and openness. Sometimes things work, sometimes they don’t. As parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers and friends, we all have to make the journey together. And it will never end, but it will always be worth it.

So I can turn the most recent version of the Magic 8 Ball now, and if you think about it, I have a pretty good chance that it will answer an affirmative yes on if things will work out. But it can’t predict the future. None of its magical powers are what is really at work—it’s you, it’s me, it’s my sister. It’s all of us. You can’t rely on some magical force or chance. It’s not about fate. It’s your free will. You should never give that up.

(I know many of my close friends are very proud of my sister. Thank you for your support after all these years.)